FEAR.

What is it for you?


F.E.A.R.

False Evidence Appearing Real, it's primarily an educational problem, and that by reeducating the mind, you can accept fear as simply a fact of life rather than a barrier to success.
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Whenever we take a chance and enter unfamiliar territory or put ourselves into the world in a new way, we experience fear. Very often this fear keeps us from moving ahead with our lives and goals. We get stuck.
Which simply implies something needs to change.
Get ready to take charge of your life. Change, is not easy, but the only thing it takes is the courage to mold your life the way you want it to be.
Students: are all trying to do the best they can and all uncertain about whether they are good enough. It is a shared phenomenon, just shared with each other to fade tension or to express relief.

We need to understand the underlying cause of all fears of our own and everyone else's.
Three levels or kinds of fear i will discuss:
1. SURFACE STORY
#Thosethat"HAPPEN"
- Being alone
- Experiencing Change
- Losing a loved one
- Becoming disabled
- Children leaving home
- Accident
#Thoserequiring"ACTION"
- Making decisions
- Making Friends
- Ending/Beginning a relationship7
- Asserting oneself
- Making a mistake
- Intimacy

2. Not situation oriented - INVOLVE EGO
Rejection, failure, success, being vulnerable, being conned, helplessness, disapproval, loss of image - all these are related to inner state of mind.
They reflect the sense of self and ability to handle the world. e.g. rejection would remain a rejection where ever it is found - it affects all areas of our life - friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, academics.. and the list goes on, so you begin to protect yourself and as a result greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you, living in the bubble you create to hide yourself - the way to isolation, loneliness, depression sets in and self rejection becomes a matter of daily argument of the same ego to mind and heart.

3. I CAN'T HANDLE IT!
At the botton of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can't handle whatever life may bring you.
The truth is: If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possibly have to fear?
"All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle what comes your way."

You are afraid simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself.
So, hold onto your self esteem and never let yourself down, prepare for what you are setting yourself into de-clutter your mind, focus and go for it, it is healthy to take risks, it means you tried even if you fall you will rise with greater confidence next time. For we have to fall to train ourselves to be brave.
Hold onto your self esteem and face your fear. From afar it seems huge as long as you keep walking towards it, it keeps getting smaller. Because it was only your perception which makes it bigger and bigger as long as you run away from it. Ask yourself what do you want? Is it important to you?
And remember what you want is on the other side of your fear.
BE COURAGEOUS.
Courage is not the absence of fear, it is acting in-spite of it.
Set yourself free, break out and believe that you have that unstoppable inner power of courage to achieve a triumph over your fears..

Independence.

 did not celebrate independence :(

Does that mean I'm not patriotic?

What did I give Pakistan.. ? I'm stuck.. Who a Pakistani means? What Being a Pakistani reflects..? Unity, Faith, Discipline.. Its just Pakistan-the land we have left.. The traits, the "Junoon", the love that brought us U Pakistan.. I'm Missing The True Independence.. I'm Missing The True Patriotism.. I'm Missing Completion of Pakistan.. What have we made of the foundation set for us.. Alas.. I myself .. alone am no different.. I am U Pakistan.. I am U Pakistan.. I reflect U Pakistan.. Not just today.. U beat in me!! EVERYDAY.. Define a Pakistani.. Design a Pakistan.. a Role Model for nations to come.. For generations to serve.. Ahh.. I still can't celebrate Independence.. Independence is Long way to come .. It's Pakistan's way to come .. It's yet We who have to make way for it to come..

Junnoon syy.. Aurr Ishq syy..

MILTII HAII..

AZZZAAAADII..

Qurbanii ki bahoo meee..

MILTII HAII..

AZZZAAAAADIII...


Love Pakistan

Always and All ways.. :*


Few years back i sat down and wrote^ this one independence day.


The principles given to us: Unity, Faith and Discipline - have been put to sleep overtime. Whilst what Quaid said “I have no doubt that with unity, faith and discipline we will compare with any nation of the world. You must make up your minds now. We must sink individualism and petty jealousies and make up our minds to serve the people with honesty and faithfulness” is enough.


There is a solid difference between a view and a vision. A vision is seeing or dreaming the desired future whereas, a view is a belief, an opinion or an idea of something. 

A view is based of what has happened in past whilst a vision totally creates a picture of the final achievement to be reached. Following this if we know the history and understand the facts, there was a movement which ran for years, till it brought a change within the minds of the people, till it gave them that motivation, that enthusiasm and energy to own the vision of those learned men and to believe in them. This was the change within the hearts and minds of people of Pakistan, a junoon(an obsession). This obsession was what worked for them, what made them work for this country. Back then Pakistan was a vision and we were obsessed to work for it, slowly that obsession has been put to deep slumber and our lights have been dimmed out.

I do not divide the challenges Pakistan faces into names as poverty, religion, cast, illiteracy or any such heading. My view of the situation tells me we are people who have lost that charm, that wisdom, that respect, that obedience, that power, that vision - that unity, faith and discipline. Despite having the worlds most talented people, the worlds most beautiful and diverse landscape, the worlds most favorable agricultural ground, all 5 rivers and 4 seasons and even the most diverse cultures within the borders of one country. I feel divided within, i feel we have no strong belief, we have loosened our reins, lost the strength in our veins and we have ourselves brought all this pain.


I will talk about the "make up our minds" part that Quaid referred to, we as the people of Pakistan need to redirect our focus, what we have indulged into is what he is doing, what she is not doing, what they are doing what them should be doing.. Why is it that we have not for long sneaked into the 'I' part of our existence? Why is that we have for long been pointing at this, that and them? Why have we been looking at that spot here or there for so long? Why haven't we seen the wall that is clean and clear and is being ignored because we are so full of individualism and petty jealousies? What have we thought of improving in ourselves, where is the WE in our lives, when have we all tried to pull each other out of this, when have we grown out of this and helped others grow with us? 


We talk about recession, we talk about negativeness, we are cynical, gloom-ridden, bleak, dismissive.. we have become pessimistic over time that we cannot give each other a helping hand but talk, talk and talk about what and why and who and how is wrong. This is where our mindset is limited to, our challenges have put a limit to us and our minds, and yet we are not shaking it off to challenge our limits. The limits we have not discovered because we never thought we can nor did we try to challenge any. What we have lost is integrity, the motivation, the drive, the values, the obsession the love. Moreover the passion the vision, to change, to self reflect.

"If you want to change your life, begin by changing your words, start speaking the words of your dreams, of what you want to become not the words of fear and failure." Such words are spoken when we have a purpose, a vision - a final destination and a drive which makes us obsessed to reach there with passion and love. Working on self is the hardest part altogether, what if we all work to get our lives together, improve on individual basis, after all every single one of us makes the nation, like every single drop comes together to make an ocean.

It's actually not the economic stability, the industrial advancement, the social unity or the spirituality that brings a nation into form, its the obsession to be united, to be diciplined and the love and patriotism for our country along with the faith in self and the nation: that we can dream, we have a vision, we can passionately pursue it, and we are acting upon it.


With this I would stress upon:

Junoon sy aur Ishq sy milti hai Azaadi,

Qurbaani ki Bahoon main milti haii Azaaadii..


The second part says, sacrifice embraces independence. Give up on the words, the negative criticisms, the laziness, the attributes which are actually making us lag behind as a nation. Work on self, Work on self, Work on self. FOCUS on your goals. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try! Come out of your views and lets make a vision and work for Pakistan with honesty and faithfulness, to bring it to life. 

Trust Him.

Trust Him.

Everything about the future is uncertain, but one thing is sure, that Allah has already arranged all our tomorrows. We just have to Trust Him.
Allah's blessings always come as a surprise.. Which are unexpected, non calculated, underestimated and beyond our eligibility.. The amount of these blessings depends upon how much our heart believes. So always expect more from our beloved Allah. What reduction would His giving incur to His treasures??
Locks are never manufactured without a key.. Similarly, Allah never gives a problem without solutions.. Only we need to have faith to unlock them. The best helping hands are at the end of our own arms. So if u can't handle things.. Put your hands together and PRAY!
Know that the darkest time of the day is just before sunrise. So, when you feel at the darkest moment in life, remember that sunshine is just a minute away. Stay calm. Stay put. Stay patient. And Believe All is well! Faith makes everything possible in life and love makes everything beautiful in life.
Do not ask Him for light burden but for strong shoulders. Whenever you are going through a bad time in life and wonder Where is Allah?
Just remember The Teacher is always quiet during a test.
Trusting Allah will not make mountains smaller but will for sure make climbing easier.
Then when Allah leads you to the edge of a cliff just Trust Him completely and I'd rather say Blindly as well, because one of the two things will happen; either He'll catch you or He'll teach you how to Fly!! And when you have Trusted Him and Believed In His Power and Might and Kept Faith in Him then remember.. Some flowers grow best in sun, others do well in shade. Allah always knows what is best for us. So He puts us where we grow The Best.The day you allow your entire existence to believe in Allah and His power over your destiny, your problems would reduce to zero. Believe nothing would go wrong because He's writing the script of your life and You Know He Writes MASTERPIECES. Those who happily leave everything in Allah's hand will eventually see Allah's hand in everything because worry ends where Faith begins. O Allah, when I loose hope because my plans have come to nothing.

Then help me remember that,
Your Love is always greater than my disappointments, and Your Plans for my Life are always better than my dreams. ❤️
The shortest and authentic solution of every problem is Prayer!! THOSE WHO KNEEL DOWN TO ALLAH CAN STAND UP
TO ANYTHING.
And when ye pray.
There are three replies.
1. Yes,
2. Yes, But not now,
3. I have a better plan for you!
There is never a No!!
May we be blessed beyond our expectations.
Just remind your self IT'S ALL PART OF THE MASTER PLAN.
For all those struggling out there.
Remember that: All Good times for my motivation and Bad to strengthen me - Realize that life continues to be like this So be Firm and Focused.

Self Care

Self Care - a need to tend to one's own self, identifying when you are running low on resources and being compassionate enough towards our own being to replenish our sensory, spiritual, emotional, physical and social needs.

Sensory needs - being able to tune into fine details and living in the present moment.
Spiritual needs - are not only related to religion and are applicable to everyone universally, to each individual's sense of purpose. Spiritual self care is about getting in touch with our values and what really matters to us.
Emotional needs - engaging with our emotions and facing them head-on. Pushing down feelings keeps them in the subconscious, whereas accepting them is healthy and helps us move on. Remember it is important to recognize how you feel, what's more important is how we behave in response to our feelings.
Physical needs - relate to the health aspect including sleep, fitness, diet, living, cleanliness, work and positive thoughts.
Social Needs - the absence of sense of being alone, combating loneliness and isolation with the opportunity to appreciate, be appreciated, love, be loved, grow, develop and be!

WHY? - Why would you even be bothered to care for yourself?

Better Productivity - being able to say NO to trivial things helps bring your goals into sharper focus
Improved Resistance to Disease - a body in a restful rejuvenating mode itself helps fortify its immune system.
Enhanced Self Esteem - being good to yourself and meeting your needs which activates the reward system & gives a positive message to the subconscious.
Increased Self Knowledge - helps find our purpose and directs us to our passion.
More to Give - we can not serve from an empty vessel but when our own spirit is full of compassion for self, happiness is unavoidable thats when we have enough of our own to give a little more.

We have got to nourish ourselves to flourish.

What goes wrong?

The child sat on the mother's lap, watching in the mirror as her mother brushed her hair and softly sang to her. The little girl held a doll.
All three, the doll, the child and the mother - had long blonde hair, lovely blue eyes cheeks glowing with rouge and lips that shone with scarlet gloss.
The mother and the child were too lost in their own little world to hear through the open window, sounds of the summer afternoon of the neighbor boys playing a game of baseball and the tunes of ice-cream van chiming in the background. Suddenly, heavy footsteps thudded up the stairs, the mother began to wipe away the lipstick from the child's face. The father of the child stormed into the bedroom with a face full of anger.

"This was not to happen again!" He shouted, his voice loud and harsh.
"I'm sorry," the mother whispered, "I couldn't help it.
"No more," her husband told her, "this time is the last time. I had warned you of the consequences before!" The father swept the child from the mother's lap. The woman's eyes now filled with panic.
"No! she pleaded, "Oh God, don't!Please, don't!" But it was too late, the women watched hopelessly  as her husband carried her child out of the house.
The father carried the child through the great oak doors of the asylum, where a nurse was watching. The father looked at his child and said, I'm sorry for what she did and sorry you let her do it," he turned around and walked away.
The nurse took the child's hand and led her through a long hallway and into a room.
"This will be your room," she said. The nurse went to the dresser, in the corner of the room and took out a plain cotton dress, "and these will be your clothes. Put them on, please."
The child hesitated, then did as she was told. She heard nurse utter a strange sound. Looking up, she saw the woman staring down at her naked body, her eyes wide.
"Did i do something wrong?" the child asked.
The nurse shook her head, "No, child of course you didn't. But we got you the wrong clothes, didn't we? Little boys don't wear dresses, do they? And they certainly don't play with dolls."
The child screamed and fell sobbing on the bed as the nurse took the doll away. He had always thought he was a girl and his mother had always treated him like one. Now, his father had brought him to this asylum so that the matrons could deal with his "mental illness".
The child would not see the doll again, and would anyone outside the walls of the asylum see the child again?

You are Alive.

I never accepted this idea that we should live today like it's our last. I don't want to look at life that way everyday.

I would be concerned that I'd do or say some really stupid things. Things I would live to regret.

Instead I choose to live each day like it was my first ever.

Imagine how exciting that is!

A few minutes ago this thought came to me.

What if we were judged and remembered by the very last thing we did or said?

No accounting for anything you did all the rest of your life. Just the very last thing.

How then, would you live each day?

I am guessing you would try to do more good.

I am thinking you'd help more.

I am sure you would love more.

I take it as a fact that you would tell more people that you love them or that they were important to you.

You might add more to life than what you take from it.

You might find more time to listen to someone who was hurting.

Imagine then how everyone would remember you.

"the last thing you did."

Sometimes life reflects upon you.. Brings you to points where you understand the empty half of the glass to the depth of your souls..

Some events of life bring you to the point wheree you stand so numb.. Nothin sinks in.. Not even the reality.. And then the thoughts rush in..

"You see, my life is so filled with so many incredible moments, I can't waste any time being sad. I could sit in one place the rest of my life just remembering all the times I was glad."

This is my life.

An important part of my life ..

Was this friend of mine..

Zarnab.. I miss u friend.. Not jus yesterday or today.. Maaan all the timee..

All the timee.. ;(

The memories you have carved..

You will neva be far..

No matter how many worlds apart..

Your alive in my heart..

Getting rid of Ria.

Getting rid of Ria.

James Reed was a famous suspense fiction writer, the best in his field. He was suave , debonair and a natural playboy who had his name linked with a different young girl every month. He was a man who had all three G's - Girls, Glory and Gold. What torment could be haunting this man? It was a face from the past, a familiar form called Ria.

"Ria!" James exclaimed in disbelief.
"Yes, it's me," Ria said coolly. "Aren't you glad to see me?"
"You know the answer."
"Do I?" said Ria Laughing.
"What are you doing here, Ria?"asked James through clenched teeth.

James soon found out and the answer wasn't pleasant. Ria had come to attach herself to him like a blood sucking-leech. He had no alternative but to tolerate her for if she told the police about his secret, it would be the end of him. James could not just sit there and let Ria ruin his life. And so, on the day of the party for the Mayor...

"Nice party, James," Ria said.
"Then it's my displeasure, Ria"
"Do you have it every year?"
"Yes! said James curtly. "Now leave me alone!"
"Over my dead body! You are too valuable to me."
"Over your dead body, eh?" James murmured under his breath.

James went upstairs. Then, after making a few arrangements, he leaned over the head of the stairs and called out to Ria. "Ria! Have you a moment to spare?"

"Sure coming right up!"
"Someone has dropped a gold chain down the bathtub drain," said James.
"Not me, for sure. Maybe one of your many girlfriends."
"Here. Take this flashlight. If you lean over, you can see it shining, down there."

Ria took the flashlight and leaned over, squinting into the drain. James then raised a short length of lead pipe and struck her two or three times with great precision. Blood splattered all over the bathtub and onto the bathroom walls.

Cold-bloodily and methodically, he washed and dressed Ria.
"Over your dead body, eh?"
"Over your dead body, eh?" James repeated.
Then he dragged her into the wine cellar. Triumphantly, he lowered the dead body into one of his wine barrels and sealed it. James then cynically marked it 'Grade One', the only barrel bearing this mark. James was about to ascend the stairs when the front door bell rang.

"Oh Lord! Why must they come now?" It was the Hudson's. They had arrived early from a game of Bridge. Ria had invited them over. James, thinking fast, brought a bottle of wine up the stairs and opened the door. Then he began his Oscar-winning performance. He brought Ross and Jacqueline Hudson into the living room and then he broke down in front of them. He said that Ria had left him after they had had a row. When the Hudsons left, he began to plan. A vacation in Hawaii - A few months or perhaps a year.

A year went by and Ria became just an image, a fading one next to the attractive blonde beside him. James was reading letters from home while lying in the sun. As he was reading the one from his brother, he turned pale and beads of cold sweat formed on his brow. He had read:
".....found your key under the door. The Mayor was upset to hear you would not be able to come to his party. So your dear brother made amends for you. I gave him the only 'Grade One' wine you had in your cellar. He was pleased and said that he will open it at his party. Wish you were here.